Friday, May 23, 2014

Appreciation

My children don't appreciate what they have and it's my fault.  I've helped raise two lovely boys but have given them just about everything they have wanted and things that I wanted them to have because it made me happy seeing them have it. Their mom and I have worked really hard and gotten really lucky to be in a position to provide them with things that less than 1% of the worlds kids can get and they don't have an appreciation of that fact and that it may not always be that way.  They carry around a view of the world that things can just be replaced if misplaced or broken.  Why break a sweat solving a problem when you can just brush it aside and move on to a replacement.

Dylan lost is "champions league" soccer ball at practice last night.  He asked for and I bought that ball for him a couple years ago because he really wanted it and I wanted to see the smile on his face when he got it.  Everyone was packing up at the end and his ball was missing. There are some woods behind the goal on one end and balls often miss the goal and end up in the brush but kids generally go get the ball when that happens.  His first reaction to the missing ball was to blame other people, including his brother.  His brothers reaction was to walk back to the car and climb in.  Dylan soon followed without looking for the ball.

One kid on there team actually started looking for the ball.  A very nice kid with what I believe to be immigrant parents of modest means.  This wasn't his ball or his problem but he understood the value of having a soccer ball.  I immediately sent them both back out to look but they continued to debate whose fault it was more than actually look. The other boy had to leave so Dylan and Sam gave up again which just about caused me to have a coronary.  They tried to explain that it was everyone else's fault and wanted to take no responsibility. I didn't want to be there waiting for them to find the ball either but the ball was their responsibility.

I joined them for the last hunt for the ball and as they continued to try to convince me that they were innocent and that the ball didn't make any difference, Sam spotted it about 18 inches off the field, behind a small shrub.

We have a dozen soccer balls in the shed. So many that I could start my own team.  They have $200 basketball and soccer shoes, expensive vacations, sports camps, ipads, $300 headphones, every advantage available and they choose the easy route when faced with a resource problem.  I didn't have it that hard either growing up but my parents were way more frugal then I am at this stage in the boys life.  I don't want to take everything away from them, I simply want them to appreciate what they have. I have to find a way to instill a sense of appreciation for all the advantages they have because I'm not going to be around forever to force them to find that soccer ball.

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